He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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