is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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