Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
