her vagine was all disorganized.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My liver just had a heart attack.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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