you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
