Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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