i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
