carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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