Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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