I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's like heaven, but drunker
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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