Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
