if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
