you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
