why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
