I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
