OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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