Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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