god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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