Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
