I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
