Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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