the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
did you just send me my own nude
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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