We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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