so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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