i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
