Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Bring me that man meat
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
