I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
