This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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