Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Randomize