Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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