i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
