it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I fill condoms, not promises.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
