Do vagina's smell?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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