Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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