2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
