hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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