My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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