it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
