I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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