Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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