Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
