so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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