if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she told me i tasted like america
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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