Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
