i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.