The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
do herpes really smell.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me