She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.