So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.