Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.

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  (913): I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body. (402): Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days? (913): Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm. http://tfl.nu/rpz1
  Replies (13) Good night (1589) Bad night (1048)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (737) Bad night (3678)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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  (302): He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before. http://tfl.nu/latf
  Replies (13) Good night (979) Bad night (4291)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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  (405): I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/0ol0
  Replies (19) Good night (5387) Bad night (1772)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  You would...

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  (204): So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone. (1-204): You would... http://tfl.nu/ljy4
  Replies (14) Good night (1181) Bad night (3550)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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  (918): There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters http://tfl.nu/8485
  Replies (83) Good night (11488) Bad night (2039)
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  (631): View more from New York

  do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?

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  (631): do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis? http://tfl.nu/tizi
  Replies (14) Good night (3980) Bad night (964)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  That's how you know you deserve to be a senior

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  (316): I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES. (1-316): That's how you know you deserve to be a senior http://tfl.nu/bxif
  Replies (13) Good night (4727) Bad night (861)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1371) Bad night (2176)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas

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  (757): shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas http://tfl.nu/w87e
  Replies (10) Good night (1758) Bad night (3262)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have

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  (727): I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have http://tfl.nu/1hgx
  Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (586)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
  Replies (6) Good night (573) Bad night (2166)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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  (270): I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde. http://tfl.nu/pj3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1137) Bad night (547)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there

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  (+44): She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there http://tfl.nu/j1ap
  Replies (6) Good night (2194) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD

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  (505): SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD http://tfl.nu/ms1e
  Replies (1) Good night (187) Bad night (465)

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