He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
