he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
