So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
