White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
