yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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