# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
