I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
