Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize