do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
