If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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