these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
