Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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