I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Congratulations! We have a period
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