Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
