so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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