You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
