Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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