I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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