so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
