okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm at about main and main street
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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